Breaking Free: Owning Your Reactions and Taking Control

Breaking Free: Owning Your Reactions and Taking Control

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In last week’s post, we talked about the first three steps of the Growth Code—owning it, stopping negative self-talk, and thinking positively—and I encouraged you to download the free Break Free from Negative Thoughts: Your 5-Minute Reset Guide. If you haven’t grabbed it yet, now’s the time because we’re diving deeper into the first step: owning it.

This week, we’re going to take a hard look at the excuses we make and who we’ve been blaming for our circumstances. Because let’s be honest—when things go wrong, it often feels like someone else’s fault.

• “He won’t listen to me.”
• “I can’t get ahead because of inflation.”
• “My mom is always on my case—I can’t do anything right.”

Sound familiar? It’s easy to believe that our struggles are caused by someone else’s actions or outside forces. And while it’s true that other people and circumstances impact our lives, the real question is—how are we reacting?

Defensive vs. Offensive Mindset

When we feel attacked or criticized, our natural reaction is defense mode. We justify, explain, or argue…anything to defend ourselves. But here’s the truth: a confident woman doesn’t play defense—she plays offense.

Think about it. What if, instead of immediately reacting, you paused and responded differently?

Example 1: Dealing with Criticism from a Loved One

Your mom calls and starts listing all the things she thinks you’re doing wrong or should be doing with your life (as moms tend to do because they love you). Instead of getting all defensive, try this:

1. Just listen.
2. Say, “Maybe you’re right.” Repeat back what she said in a neutral tone. This tells her you’ve heard her.
3. Get off the phone. No need to argue. Just end the conversation with, “Thanks for sharing that with me.”
4. Reflect. Ask yourself: Is this true? Is this helpful?
5. Move on. If there’s truth in her words, adjust. If not, let it go.

This is a really great time to pick up the free guide you downloaded: Break Free from Negative Thoughts: Your 5-Minute Reset Guide and bring peace to your thinking and continue on your day. It’s freeing! And, you won’t lose sleep. 😎

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."  Proverbs 4:23

Example 2: Facing External Challenges

Maybe inflation is making life harder, or a coworker isn’t supportive. These can be things outside of your control, so it almost has to be your response to it. Instead of saying, “This is holding me back,” shift your mindset:

• “This is an obstacle, but I will find a way through.”
• “I’m still in control of my actions and my success.”

I love this quote from Lysa Terkeurst:

The Power of Owning Your Reactions

Owning your life means taking responsibility for your reactions, your mindset, and your next steps. It doesn’t mean ignoring real challenges—it means choosing how you respond to them. Confidence begins when you stop letting outside forces dictate your internal peace.

And when those negative thoughts creep in? That’s where your free 5-minute guide comes in. Use it to reset, refocus, and remind yourself that you are in control. So this week, I challenge you: Pay attention to who or what you’re blaming. Then, take a deep breath, shift your mindset, and start playing offense. You’ve got this!

In case you missed last week’s post, here it is: The Growth Code: Breaking Free & Moving Forward

And, if you didn’t get your free guide, download it here: Break Free from Negative Thoughts: Your 5-Minute Reset Guide