Do the Actions of Others Increase Your Anxiety?
Anxiety relief-how to achieve peace of mind in a world where the actions of others continue to increase your angst and make you unhappy and off-balance can be tough, but not insurmountable.
Like you, others are just trying to make in this world, but wouldn’t it be better if instead of just making it, you thrive? Wouldn’t you like to decrease your anxiety all while increasing your peace of mind?
I’m sure you would, but how do you do it?
It Starts with Letting Go
I have a loved one who worries about everybody else all the time. I can see his anxiety, and unhappiness as it has been emerging for a while now. Much of it is caused by our alluring culture to fit in, but even more than that it is caused by his worry about those around him.
You may be thinking “well isn’t that a good thing? He cares.” My answer is yes, this is a good thing, but only up to a point and not when it affects his own mental health.
This young man actually worries about whether he parked at a spot that others might have to steer around him, even though parking like this could not be helped, and the vehicle wasn’t going to be there but for 5 minutes, and there is almost no traffic on this particular side-street. In addition, this young man worries whether the person standing next to him in line is uncomfortable in any way. Also, he worries whether some worker might need to rearrange something and add to his workload, which isn’t much in the first place.
He doesn’t want to “bother” anyone at any time for any reason. In addition, he worries about the wait staff at a restaurant, and he worries that his cute little dog might make someone walk around him just a little bit. He worries that anything that he does makes someone else uncomfortable at any moment, even if it is their job to worry about him.
Worry-worry-worry-worry-worry causes anxiety!
Worry Causes Anxiety
This has been proven by psychologist time and time again. While it is good to take others’ feelings into consideration; it is not good to do this at the cost of your own mental health. When you worry that much about someone else, you take away the other person’s ability to think for themselves, and to have small successes themselves of helpfulness and politeness. And, more importantly, it affects your own mental health. You cannot control others, you can only control your own reaction to others.
Let me give you a small example, I’m carrying in a large box, and I can’t quite reach the doorknob. In the above scenario, I will jiggle and bob and drop it just to keep from “putting someone else out”. But why when there is a nice young lady behind me who opened the door for me. She smiled brightly and felt good about her simple act of kindness.
Here is Another I Can Story That always Brings Tears to My Eyes
My mother fought 6 different cancers before she finally passed away at the age of 89 from a massive brain tumor. Before that, though, she was fighting another type of cancer and I was taking her to chemo treatments every two weeks. After they took blood, she had to wait to see her doctor, so we decided to go have some lunch.
The waitress was amazing and stopped to visit with us as they were not too busy. She loved my mom and finally asked what we were doing down there. We told her, which brought tears to her eyes. She didn’t even know us, but she could see how this battle was affecting us.
When it came time to pay, she told us that the meal was “on her”, and that we did not owe one penny. My mom was so conscientious, she knew that a waitress salary wasn’t much, and didn’t want her to do that, but the waitress insisted she wanted to do this small thing for my mother and walked off.
I leaned over to my mother, and I said please let her do this. She wants to very much and it would make her feel good to do it. So, we left her a $20 tip and went to get Mom’s chemo.
Do You see the point of Anxiety Relief Here?
Worrying about someone else’s income level when they want to help takes away their right to be helpful and productive. My mom didn’t have any more money than that waitress did. Actually, I’m sure she had less as she lived off of a small social security income and supplemented this with quilting for others.
The young man I mentioned earlier could learn a lot from my mom. Your anxiety is high because you are worrying about others and things that you probably have no control over.
Letting Go — Anxiety Relief
Changing this type of behavior does not happen overnight. It is truly amazing and wonderful that this young man and this waitress are such good people. The difference is the young man is actually making himself so unhappy with all of this.
He listens to NPR podcasts about stuff he can NEVER do anything about. Why? What is this doing for him? Have you ever heard the quote “garbage in, garbage out”?
Listening to sad, bad, and unhappy things will make you sad, bad, and unhappy over time. You will internalize all the wrongs and the sadness. This will cause extreme anxiety.
This is only the beginning of a change in your anxiety lifestyle, but it is a great start.
Guard Your Every Thought to Help with Anxiety Relief
When you hear yourself worrying, conscientiously take an assessment of that worry. Is it really that important, and what’s the worst that can happen if you let go of the worry. Have you ever heard the idiom “we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it?”
Worrying is like trying to cross a bridge when there is no bridge to cross and you haven’t even gotten near it. Your anxiety level increases. When instead you could be doing and thinking something proactive and positive . Do not trade your own sense of self worth and comfort for anxiety by worrying about things that may or may not happen. And you trade your own peace of mind by worrying about others when you, in fact, do not control others. They are in charge of their own life.
Be a Little More Selfish
In this day and age of “self-care” you can see that this is exactly the trend. When your thoughts turn from worrying about whether someone has to drive around your car to your own peace of mind, think first of yourself and how this is affecting you.
You’ve gotten a great start by reading this article, but if you need more lessons on this, and truly want to change your life by changing your thinking, try this wonderful anxiety-busting, calming food program called The Anti-Anxiety Recipe Plan by clicking here.
Anxiety Relief is closer than you think. Cheering for you!
Leave your concerns in the comments section below and relieve your anxiety.
What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31
So those who rely on faith are blessed along with Abraham, the man of faith. Galatians 3:9
You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth? Galatians 5:7
Remember to try this wonderful anxiety-busting, calming food program called The Anti-Anxiety Recipe Plan by clicking here.
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