Survival Story-Losing a Loved One in an Accident

Overcoming Grief and Pain. An”I Can” Story How I Over Came Grief and Began to Live Again

Survival Story – Losing a Loved One in an Accident. This “I Can” story will cut to your very heart and soul.

Grace and Lucas had the kind of love story we’ve all seen and heard about. Luke adored Grace but had a horrible monkey on his back. He drank a lot, and one day he started adding to that with various drugs, but mainly crystal meth. That’s when he went down in less than two years.

Luke’s childhood was one where the father drank a lot and would sometimes get violent, but not too often and his mom was a sweetheart. There were 6 children and his mom was the one who was always around. She never learned to drive, and she stayed home to take care of the children and solely dependent on her husband.

This probably contributed to Lucas’s drinking and eventual drug use. He did not realize how that by using crystal meth he was putting toxic waste into his body. It made him paranoid and Grace became very rattled. She didn’t know what was wrong, and the did not understand the change in him.

What Happened to Her Sweet, Loving Husband?

Grace didn’t understand that Luke was offered crystal meth from a hitchhiker he had stopped to help out. They rode together, got to talking, and eventually became friends. The hitchhiker’s car had broken down, so when Lucas got to his house, the man asked him to stay for a bbq as a thank you. Grace did not know any of this.

One day the love of her life changed. That’s all Grace knew and she became broken as well. She had never done drugs so she did not understand anything that was going on.

It Got Worse

As the next couple of years meandered on, the marriage began to fall apart. Lucas was gambling and spending all he made. Grace was a professional administrator and began making more money and had to pay all the bills with her income.

Luke began not coming home and they started fighting. The lack of understanding on Grace’s part hurt her so much. One day she discovered drugs in his pocket while doing the laundry. She did not want to face it, but she confronted him. Lucas said they were someone else’s.

Eventually the Full Story Came Out

Grace tried to hold on and she really wanted her marriage to work, but she was becoming very depressed. One day, she couldn’t hold it together and when she got to work she couldn’t stop crying. Her boss called her into his office. He was very kind and asked if she’d like to talk with someone who had been where her husband is right now. She agreed.

From that point forward she started to understand the drug use disease. They tried A.A. and N.A. but it still kept getting worse. Eventually, she asked him to leave and told him he had two choices. Either the marriage was over or he had to go to a rehab facility.

Losing a Loved One Can Come In Different Ways

Grace felt she had already lost Lucas, but surprisingly he drove himself to rehab. He spent 30 days there, and when he came out he was the man she had fallen in love with. Lucas was drug-free and wonderful, and she fell in love with him all over again.

There’s was an amazing love story. It was one you might see in a love story. Grace became pregnant and the baby came early at 7 months. They spent a month in the hospital with him and when he came home at 5.5 pounds they were ecstatic!

All Grace’s dreams had finally come true. She had the most precious little boy whom she loved with all her heart and would protect with everything she had, and a most wonderful loving husband.

Survival Story – Losing a Loved One

When the little boy was about a year old, Lucas’s old habit reared its ugly head. He had stopped going to A.A. thinking he could handle it on his own. He couldn’t and he started drinking again, and though she never knew for sure, was using drugs again.

Why? She could not understand. He had everything he ever wanted. You see some people do not believe they deserve this kind of happiness and they will sabotage it. This is what Lucas did.

Eventually they divorced, but it took a couple of years as Grace did not want the divorce and neither did Lucas. They were still very much in love, but Grace did not feel she had a choice. She had to keep her son safe at all costs even at her own sacrifice. Her son was what mattered and nothing more.

Survival Story-Losing a Loved One in an Accident

They had been divorced a couple of years, but Grace held a torch for Lucas and wouldn’t let anyone else in. She saw him all the time when he came to visit their son, and even had Luke over for supper. Ironically, Lucas brought over a song one night and left it for Grace…maybe he had a premonition? Grace doesn’t know but it is a very fitting song and it came from Lucas, so it is cherished. The song is Please Remember Me recorded by Tim McGraw...as if Grace could or would ever forget Lucas.

Then one day she got THE CALL. This was the call that none of us ever want to get. Lucas was dead. He had been killed in an accident at work. She couldn’t believe it and she rushed off to the funeral home to see him. They wouldn’t let her in. Grace was devastated.

All the Hope Was Now Gone

There was now, finally, no hope for reconciliation or hope for a future with her one true love. Lucas was gone and she was left with a 6 year old son who was also devastated from the loss.

Grace went into a sort of survival if not dark mode. Throughout the day she went to work and in the evening she played with her son, but when she put him to bed she would cry and cry and cry until she could not cry anymore.

Survival Story — Now What?

This went on for almost three years. Grace had shut herself off from almost everyone except her son whom she doted on and her career, which she went into full force on.

One night after three years, she put her son to bed and as usual she thought the tears would begin, but this night they didn’t. Instead she had this one single thought…”Grace, this man has hurt you in so many ways for so many years. You have cried enough tears for him. It is time to get on with your life for your sake and for your son’s sake.” It was God speaking truth to her. She had wallowed in her loss long enough and it was time to take a hard look at herself and begin to live, really live again. (Resource: NIV Study Bible)

Living. Really living Now Begins

When you lose someone so close to you, there’s an ache that is always there, but it will dull over time even though it does remain. Grace began thinking of her future and the future for her son.

They went to parades and went swimming and other activities and they were very close. Grace wanted her son to become a man of character and in order for him to do that, she had to become a woman of character.

Grace began by reading a profoundly astute book from a very famous author Dale Carnegie called How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. This book changed her thinking. She began looking at other personal development courses to change her mental health. She happened across a quote…”Change your thinking and change your life.”

Survival Story Became How to Thrive in Life

Grace’s loss led to her becoming a better person. Every day she started through prayer and meditation. She read her Bible and read the words from God, all the patriarchs, Jesus, the 12 disciples and the Apostle Paul. Grace studied the word of God and read the words from other famous authors such as Dr. Robert Jeffress and worked very hard at her business and her life.

She never missed church and her Sunday School class was her life-blood. All the people in the class became her friends and strength. If she couldn’t make it for some reason, her week would fall flat. Her son went with her to church and most everywhere else. They were very, very close.

Over Time Grace’s Life Became a Pillar to Others

Grace would tell me that she would think of the words of the song by Gloria Estefan “Coming Out of the Dark”. Gloria recorded this song after she overcame a horrific accident. She said she could relate to this song because she had survived a horrific accident through the loss of her loved one.

Pain Tells Us We Are Alive

If it weren’t for the pain, we wouldn’t understand and feel the blessings of happiness. It is through this pain that brings us out of the dark and into the other side.

Grace told me that Lucas has been gone 18 years now. She remarried 4 years ago to a wonderful man who treats her with respect and loving care. He does not do drugs of any sort, and is a man after God’s heart. They spend their mornings in prayer and reading their Bibles.

Grace will never forget the pain and at times becomes reflective. She went to visit Luke’s grave a few weeks ago and sat and talked with him. This is freeing. When you look at how far we come in the life we begin to realize that life is a big and wonderful journey and how we handle immense pain and bad times defines us as humans.

Share Your Survival Story – It’s freeing

Have you lost a loved one? Is the pain fresh and do you feel lonely and lost? Lean into it and feel and then when you are ready, share your story with us. We care about you very much.

There are more resources available to you right here on this website, My I Can Story on our Resources Page.

then I saw all that God has done.  No one can comprehend what goes on under the sun. Despite all his efforts to search it out, man cannot discover its meaning. Even if a wise man claims he knows, he cannot really comprehend it. 
Ecclesiastes 8:17

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 
1 John 4:8

Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure. 
1 John 3:3

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 
1 Peter 4:8

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