Trust In Our Family Members-Have Faith, Love, and Conviction

Trust. Something has been on my heart for a while now. So much so that I may have to rant a while.

I have been noticing a disturbing trend. People trust unknown people on the Internet, “scientist” and government officials over and above their own family members. This is a trend that I do not understand. It is my belief that this is contributing exponentially to mental health issues, lack of self confidence, and genuine depression.

Give me your take on this particular story that I am sharing now. I know a young lady who grew up in a very nice family. I know these people, and they are what one would call “good people.” Yes, we all hate labels but just go with me on this for the purposes of understanding.

The parents are always present teaching their kids to live life on the farm growing a large garden, canning, freezing, smoking meats, and raising chickens, etc. In addition, they have been involved in various clubs and organizations and church. These parents do not go out although they might have a group of friends or family members come over from time to time to bbq. Honestly, they are a very good family. No drugs of any kind, infidelity, or things that might make you raise an eyebrow.

In addition, these parents are very involved and visit with their kids, and the oldest girl just graduated from high school. A couple of weeks later, she started talking with a guy online and within two weeks she disappears for a couple of days. Her parents did not know about the guy she met online, and are very worried about their now 18-year-old daughter.

Where Was She?

After a couple of days, the daughter finally shows up, but she is not alone. She has brought with her the new guy, his friend and his friend’s girlfriend and a police officer to escort her to her room so she can pick up her stuff. Her parents were flabbergasted and amazed. They had done nothing to warrant this type of behavior. The young lady took her personal belongings and left.

It is unknown where the young lady is right now. Her parents do know that their daughter has been in contact with other family members. She is in a town which is only an hour away.

This young lady’s parents have sent her texts asking her to come home and telling her that they love her. She is 18 and has graduated from high school,. She is free to do as she pleases, but her parents are very worried. No one knows anything about this guy she took off with. He is probably telling her things that may not be true. She’s only know him a couple of weeks. But a guy who gets a girl to bring a policeman to her home to pick up personal belongings is NOT a “good” guy. He is a dangerous man to all those who know him who prays on young ladies with low self esteem.

Here comes the huge questions!

Why Would an 18-Year-Old Girl Trust Someone She Met On the Internet 2 Weeks Ago Over Her Own Parents?

This is happening more and more. My own son took off when he turned 18 after graduating a month, but I knew where he was. He went to live with a classmate in his own apartment. I can understand wanting to be out on your own, but my son came home within 2 months. He learned he had it pretty good. (Free food, room and board, and clean laundry hanging in the closet and a CLEAN HOUSE goes a long ways when you’re a young man!!)

How is this young lady going to live? She hasn’t been able to hold down a job because she doesn’t show up for work on time if at all. She doesn’t have any money. What young man would pay for everything for a young lady that he just met? Especially if he’s worth anything. Why does this girl trust a man she just met over her own family?

If you have self confidence and self respect, then this is NOT the type of young man you want to hang out with. You will see it immediately. You may think its funny “getting your parents” because you have some perceived wrong that you think they have done to you.

Trust is a Two Way Street

When my son moved out on me like that, he told me the day he moved. I was at work and I received a text. It hurt. I never in a million years thought he would just up and move his stuff out and leave like that. You see, I trusted him. I trusted his love for me. He did it like that because he didn’t think I would let him move out. He didn’t know me very well.

As a matter of fact, he thought he knew me better than he did. I was hurt because I wanted to help him move, and I wanted to go shop for decor and pots and pans and dishes, and all the things you need to set up your new apartment. If he would have involved me in all of this, then I would have helped him both financially and moving! I believe young people should have their independence. This is important, but they should also be able to have trust in their family.

Young People Need Their Independence

You see, I had known for a long time that he wanted to “do what he wanted to do when he wanted to do it.” I knew he was independent. I also knew I had raised him right and that he would be good on his own. He had it in his head that I didn’t believe in him when in actuality I did.

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

Proverbs 22:6

It only took him 2 months of “freedom” to figure out that he would have had all the freedom he really wanted at home. After all, he was 18. I would treat him as an adult as long as he acted like one and treated me with respect.

It’s interesting really because after he moved back home he decided that home was awesome! He decided that he got to keep all of the money he made and not have to pay for rent or food and he learned that Mom’s know how to do laundry way better than he did. Eventually, I had to move out and let him live in my old house because I could tell he was going to live with me forever.

Back to Our Story….

Back to the story of this young lady and the thing that is truly baffling to me. Why would she bring a police man with her? Was her self confidence so low that she thought her parents would talk her out of moving? Or really was it because she knows in her heart of heart that this man is not worthy and she didn’t want the “voice of reason” entering into any part of what she was doing? The “voice of reasoning” of course being her father who loves her dearly. OR, more than likely, this new guy talked her into it so that he could drive a wedge between her and her family?

It is frightening to think that she does not trust herself or her parents, but she trusts a perfect stranger to provide her with whatever freedom she perceives she is missing out on.

Why Do Adult Children Not Trust Their Parents?

When the pandemic hit, we were told we could not go anywhere near our 4-month-old one and only grandson. Dr. Fauci knew what was better for him than we did.

But here is what is interesting, this boy has not missed a day of daycare since the whole thing started except the first month. But we who love our grandson more than you can possibly imagine might put him in danger.

Again, the daycare is trustworthy and all the children at the day care and all the parents of the children at the daycare, but not his grandparents.

Dr. Fauci told my husband’s daughter-in-law not to trust us. He told millions of parents not to trust anyone but their day care apparently because that is the only people who get to see our grandson who is now 2 years old.

Let me just say this, if you think for one minute that Dr. Fauci loves my grandson more than me, you do not know me very well, and if you think for one moment that I would ever hurt my grandson you completely do not know me at all.

I’m angry and I am very frustrated about this. So if you are among those who believe that Dr. Fauci and Pfizer who are getting filthy rich off of the pandemic loves your children more than their grandchildren, then you do not have very good self confidence or self esteem and for you I say, “my thoughts are with you, and I am praying for you every single day.” My heart goes out to you.

I Have Now Lost Trust In My Adult Child Because Trust Is a Two Way Street

Since you do not trust me, I have no choice but to question my trust In you and your motives. That said, I will always love you, and I will always continue to pray for you. You are my husband’s son and daughter-in-law and the mother of my most wonderful and joyous grandson.

I really would love to hear your take on any and all of these stories. My heart aches for all of these family members. There is a deeper emotion going on in all these situations. It is my strong belief that the lack of Christ in these people’s lives have contributed to their lack of trust in themselves and their family. Faith. Trust. And Hope will come to you when you pick up your Bible and read.

Godspeed.

 A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish man despises his mother. Proverbs 15:20

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19

Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.  Rejoice always pray continually give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.  Do not quench the spirit.  1 Thessalonians 5:15-19

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